A Day In The Life Of Emmett McCarty
by AlwaysMoreFun
Summary: Everyone loves Emmett right? I know I do! I suck at summary's, clearly. Just read it, it has Bella drowing, T-Rex's named Bob, I Spy, Nerd Army's, Dating Sites and bay watch. Just read it alright? :D If you do, Mike will do a lap dance for you! ; Complete
1. Swimming School bitches! Bob?

**Heeyo everyone!**

**So I know I already have heaps of unfinished stories :/**

**But I decided that I'm a bit sick of always doing serious stories because I don't get many reviews for them all anyways, so I thought I'd try comedy :D**

**And seriously, if you read this, even if you're not a member, please please review because I have given up on so many of my stories because no one reviews but then every so often someone will send me a message saying that they liked that story and want to know why I stopped updating it, because you didn't review on it! **

**Anyways, do you think that's a long enough ramble for today?**

**;)**

**Here it is, ENJOY!**

**AND !**

* * *

"Oh oh! Pick me! Pick me!" I said jumping up and down.

"Emmett" Carlisle said.

"I spy with my little eye…" nobody would be able to guess my word, muahahaha.

"Emmett we're not playing I spy"

"Something starting with… V!" I declared, I was going to win!

"Vampire." Edward said.

"Emmett…" Carlisle said.

I was ashamed, "Yes Eddy… Emmett starts with an E silly!" I said smugly, "Wait, it does start with an E right?" have I been spelling it wrong all these years? "IT DOES START WITH AN E RIGHT?" I repeated louder. I began to freak out, I ran upstairs to find a dictionary.

Alice in wonderland, Yuk. Thesaurus, yuckier. T-Rex… wait, "hi Bob!" I said to my pet T-Rex, he purred and returned to eating Tarzan, bloody Amazon jungle idiots. DICTIONARY! VICTORY!

I ran back stairs and flipped through the pages until I found E, there was no Emmett! I flipped to the back to the V, Emmett was not there either!

I flipped back to E again, looking over and over again, the only name I found in there was; Edward: Sparkly, gay vampire who eats shoes.

Okay maybe it didn't say that _exactly_, but it was fairly close.

I ran to Carlisle, "Emmett does start with an E right? TELL ME IT DOES!" I screamed at him.

"Yes! Yes it starts with an E _E_mmett, _E_, okay?"

I smiled and floated to the floor, everything was restored, peace and love was back to the world, the little pixies from outside began to sing…

Wait, what is the point of this?

Oh right, "Edward wins!" I declared.

I ran towards him and embraced him in a bear hug, he merely and humbly pushed me to the floor and walked away muttering something about freaks, how kind he was.

I then walked outside to find my activity for the story, and I found it lying on a golden platter, well not exactly…

"BELLSPROUT!" I said running towards her.

"Huh, whaaa?" she said so sweetly as I picked her up and ran off with her.

"EMMETT! PUT ME DOWN! I'M HERE TO SEE EDWARD NOT YOU!" She said harshly.

I just merely smiled and continued on running towards the water, I was going to teach her how to swim!

I dropped her into the pond, and then very kindly began to teach her how to swim, how giving and kind I was.

"GIMMIE TWENTY MORE LAPS WEAKLING!" I kindly yelled at her, "THEN SWIM IN A SEMI CIRCLE SO I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW WHAT A SEMI CIRCLE IS!"

Bella happily began her twenty laps and semi circle, and then about into her eighteenth lap she gracefully began sinking to the bottom of the pool, I never knew she was so theratric!

"Wonderful dead mans float Bellsprout!" I was so proud of her progress, "You're going to be an excellent swimmer, I can tell!" I said reassuringly.

Edward came bursting through the trees then, "What the hell!"

He jumped in to the water too, probably trying to up stage Bella, "Well done Edward! That dive was incredible! Just like jumping out of a moving car on a highway to Texas with Jonny Cash in the drivers seat! Going to take swimming lessons too I see?" I smiled happily; maybe I should start a business for this?

Edward emerged from the water all bay watch like with Bellsprout in his arms, Pamela Anderson just stood on the beach shaking her head, a no from Pam Pam. Bella was still playing dead, ahhh, my little swimming sister, how proud I was.

Edward then dropped Bella on the ground and began to do some sort of mating ritual which involved him pumping his hands over her heart several times then passionately kissing her, then pumping again, then some more kissing, then some more pumping, then kissing, you get the point; he repeated the process until she opened her eyes.

Ahh, how disappointing, it seemed Bella could only play dead for ten minutes, this was going to deduct marks from her final grade… she was down to a B+, not very good in my books, but Edward on the other hand, a straight A, apart from the sloppiness of his exit.

Edward looked up at me with happily angrish eyes, "Emmett, you had better run now. I'm giving you twenty seconds."

Oh! Chasey! How fun!

I ran off into the woods at full speed and hid behind a tree, aha! I was a god at chasey! I once pushed Alice into a puddle too, that was fun, she hit me with a shopping trolley afterwards, lovely idea.

What good times I have.

When Edward didn't come after me for about three hours, lazy hobo, I decided to go back home.

I found everyone gathered around the kitchen table, tey must have been having a party!

I burst into the room yelling, "PARTY DOWN HARD BABY!" but they all turned their heads slightly and looked at me funny, must be a surprise party.

Oh well, I will just have to leave to go find some people to sign up for my swimming school!

This was going to be ever so much fun!

* * *

**Soooo?  
**

**How did I do?**

**Did I fail? I'm fairly certain I did, half of it didn't really make sense but ahh well, I do random best :D**

**I'm not exactly where I'm going with this story but I'll see where it takes me ;)**

**Are you going to be along for the ride too? He he he.**

**If you are, PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I AM SERIOUS ABOUT THIS! IF YOU LOVED IT OR EVEN HATED IT OR EVEN LIKED IT THE TEENSIEST BEST REVIEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! :D :D :D**

**If you don't, Emmett will force you to join his swimming school and put you in the dungen, and this dungen will be so dirty, it will be dirty, so you will therefore be deadly in the dungen!**

**Think I should try and work that into the story? O_o**

**Anyways.**

**Rambeled long enough, yeah? ;)**

**READ IT! AND REVIEW IT! THEN FAVOURITE IT! THEN READ IT AGAIN! THEN... I forgot my train of thought...**

**Just do it!**

**I love you all!**

**Awesome Girl 101.**

**[Because we all know she's the awesomest ;)]**

**.**


	2. Panda munchies?

**WHOOP! I GOT 3 REVIEWS! xD I know it's not much but it's amazing to me :D **

**Thank you guys so much, to Luna, Annikamaddie, and to Molly Hall, I took what you said into mind and you're right :)**

**Anyways,**

**It's time for Emmett to start his swimming school! :D yayerrrrsssssssssss! Haha.**

**And I have decided I will be working that deadliness in the dungen into it ;) whoop, wait and see who gets thrown in there! ;) Anyone who guesses it right will be mentioned somewhere in the story, may be in a few chapters but oh well ;)**

**Soo…**

**LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE! :D :D :D**

**Enjoy! :D :D**

**REVIEW ! ;)**

* * *

"Esmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, ?" I begged her again.

"No Emmett, for the twentieth time I will _not_ be a lifeguard at your swimming school okay?" She shook her head and waved me away, "Go bother someone else, I'm sure Rose would love to help." She pointed to her. Rose looked up with devil eyes, ahh my beautiful wife, volunteering!

"Okay mumsy poop, I will go ask her now!" I skipped happily oh joyously to my lovely wife, "Wifeyyyyyyy…"

"No." She said.

"Awesome! I'll sign you up as head lifeguard!" I smiled, how loving she was, oh what a lucky man I am, I winked at her and walked away to find some more supervisors.

I found Alice sitting inside playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City on the playstation, "NERD!" I called out while approaching her.

She glowered at me, "What do you…" her face went still, she must've gotten bored, "Yes Emmett, I will join your swimming club, as LONG as I get to be your co-manager"

I looked at her funny, "me no understando?" how many fingers did I have…?

"It means I get to help you torture and yell at people, understando yes?"

I nodded my head, "Yes, I do my little pixie sibling, you know…"

"No." She said.

How did she know I was planning to use her as a beach volleyball for our swimming summer camp? I frowned at her and sulked off.

Oh well, time to find some people to join my swimming school! Yay! The fun part!

I ran upstairs and found Jasper listening to some freaky emotional music, "JAZZ!" I said.

He turned to me and looked devilish, hehe, gold haired freak, "Want to join my swimming school? I'll teach you to swim and stuff…" I said to him oh joyously.

He never answered because all of a sudden I felt like leaving the room and going away from Jasper, so I never got to hear his answer, weird huh?

Anyways, next I ran to Bella's house, "EDWARDDDDDDDDDDDDDD AND BBBEEEEEELLLLLAAAAA" I yelled, while leap frogging through Bella's window, they were making out on her bed, ewwie! "CUT THAT OUT!" I smacked Bella with my nana purse.

"What the HELL EMMETT?" Edward yelled getting all angry sounding, what a great actor he was. Note to self, make him join an acting school somewhere in England near Robert Pattinson...

I smiled sweetly, ahh I loved my siblings, "You're both coming back to my swim school right? You were my star pupil!" I said with such pride and joy.

"Emmett you idiot! I'm not joining your swim school, either is Bella, and neither will anybody else in the entire WORLD!" Edward said kindly and thoughtfully.

"Okay," I smiled, "I'll sign you up for extra activities and a full summer, we're going to have ever so much fun Eddy and Bellsprout!" I ran up and wrapped them in to a joint bear hug.

Edward then pushed me back out the window, how kind of him to give me a helping hand on my quest.

Now, I must think of somewhere to pick up little kids and mums in mini vans who want to join my school… ah! But of course! THE SUPER MARKET!

I ran off towards the super market, hehe, super like me, to find some children willing to join, it was the perfect place, mum's were there every second day to buy more food for their little midget people!

God how was I blessed with such geniousness and attractiveness, I'd say it's unfair but then I wouldn't be who I am, hot.

I arrived just in time to stop a mini van from leaving by popping it's tires, muahahaha, they'll never know, and then I stuck an "Emmett's swimming school" flyer on their window screen.

I then repeated the process and stuck them on every single mini van window screen, I was sure to get plenty of applicants! i ran around like a looney on looney pills, how graceful I must have looked.

When I got home all I had to do was wait, after about four hours my phone started ringing, I listened to it for a while because it was my favourite song;

_One love, one heart, let's get together and FEEL ALRIGHT_.

I answered the first call after twenty seconds with ever so much excitement, "YALLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I said all cheerfully.

"I WILL CALL THE COPS IF I EVER CATCH YOU PUTTING FLYERS ON MY CAR AGAIN, DON'T THINK THAT I WON'T YOU BIG SCARY MONGREL! I'VE HEARD ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, YOU ALL SCARE ME TO DEATH, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAKY WEIRDO, I WILL PUSH YOU DOWN A STAIRCASE IF YOU EVER EVEN THINK OF PUTTING ONE BACK ON MY WINDOW EVER AGAIN!"

I laughed, "Nice prank call Eddy, you sound just like an old granny" oh my prankster brother, what a genious, must buy him gold star stickers...

I hung up laughing, what a silly billy he was.

My phone began ringing again that was my first of many applications; I knew it was going to be a success! In total I had eight students signed up, how proud my mumsy poop and daddy gaddy were going to be! Yay! I was going to be stinky rich...

Note to self; buy shampoo for stinkiness when rich.

This was going to be a blast! Apart from the stinking.

I ran back down to the super market to buy some supplies for my school, since, schools don't run on genie magic, I think.

I needed a stapler, orange, life vest, floaties, banana peel, octopus, tampon, endangered species and a panda. Wait, that I repeat something?

Oh well, ON WITH THE SHOW!

I ran to the pond where I first taught Bellsprout to swim, ahh the memories, I began to cry, then I remembered I can't cry.

MUST FIND TEARS!

Anyways, I threw the octopus into the water, he was going to be my first obsticle for my students to overcome!

Then I placed the banana peel on the edge of the pond, for, well... Who doesn't laugh when a kid slips over one of those things? Classic!

Next I stapled the orange to the life vests and floaties, no way they were aloud to use these! I threw the useless safety devices into the water, what a wonderful waste of time, I smiled at my geniousness.

Next, the Panda got a munching on everything in the water, and I was done.

As for the tampons, well... It was my time of month... Hey hey! Don't judge me! I'm a REAL BOY just like the rest of you green munchkins!

Then I placed a picnic rug on the ground and waited patiently for my students to arrive, next month, the time was going to fly by!

God, how was I born so smart?

* * *

**How was it?**

**Do you think his business will work out? I know I sure wouldn't want Emmett [as much as I love him] to be my swimming instructer O_o**

**Hahhhhhhhh, did you like it? No? OF COURSE NOT! You loved it ;)**

**Yeah I know it was a little crappier than last chapter, but give me some credit, I wrote that in 15 minutes and haven't checked through it because it's like 11pm on a school night :P**

**So REVIEW!**

**DO IT DO IT!**

**OR I WILL NO LONGER CONTINUE TO WRITE IT :(, I hate feeling like my work is unloved xD**

**Thankyou to everyone who did!**

**It means the world to me! :D :D**

**And remember to tell me who you think will get thrown into the deadly dungen ;)**

**Until next time my beloved friend.**

**Awesome Girl 101.**

**[loves you ;)]**

**Kinky winky.**


	3. CodySimpsonYeah, dead mans float, BIEBZ!

**Heyoo everyone!**

**I got one review on this chapter xD**

**But thankyou so much to everyone who favourited this story! I thought no one was actually reading it until I checked my hotmail, I'm so keen and excited you like it! :D :D :D**

**So I know my chapters are getting more and more random, but oh well, that's the point of this story really, right? O_o**

**I can stop it if you'd like and focus on one thing xD**

**And I is soooo sooo sorry this chapters a tad short, but I had massive writers block and this is basically a whole lotta shit made up on the spot haha.**

**I personally found it fun to write xD But that's probably because I'm in love with the Biebz's songs, besides the fact that in music at school my teacher and all the boys sit there and call him gay, even most of the girls... I don't care who he is, but his songs are incredible! Does anyone agree with me on that? O_o ILY HIM!**

**Oh and if you don't know who Cody Simpson is, this is who he is www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=ZAHDtzeC_AU , I know it's not the best video clip (I LOVE THE SONG), but oh welllllll, he reminds me of a friend of mine xD PLUS HE'S AUSSIE! :D :D**

**So question is, who's better, the Biebz or Cody Simpson? :P**

**ENJOY AND REVIEW!**

* * *

So… a month is a lot longer than I originally planned…

I waited through cold, shiny, hot… wait, why am I describing myself?

Anyway,

Yeah, so Rose came and sat with me for about an hour of the month, then she decided that the woods wasn't good for her hair and left, stupid wife, and Alice came and read me a bedtime story last week, it was about vampires and some pale white winey bitch who was in love with this vampire with really awful facial expressions… he was a tad creepy… but I did love the biggest vampire and the werewolf pack! **(A/N. Taylor Lautner, six pack, drool)**

How I loved that little pixie, future freak, for reading it to me. –Insert smile here-

My first student showed up about three minutes before I'd expected, and I was ever so angry that she disobeyed my time sheet! I scolded her by pushing her into the water and making her do twenty laps and a semi circle before training started, I thought it was fair enough.

All my other students showed up on time, I was very pleased with this fact.

I started them off by sending them into my course of fun, but by this time the panda hadn't eaten in over three weeks and was very hungry, I think he tried to eat one of the littler girls for munchies, oopsies.

I feed him some zoo keeper and decided to name him Wang Wang, not a silly name at all; now all he needed was a companion named Funi…

Wang Wang was ecstatic about getting some munchies and munched away, nom nom nom… wait, that's noming, he really went, munch, munch, munch…

What was my point again?

Wow, I swear I have the attention span of a flea…

Oh right, TEACH THE MUNCHKINS TO SWIM!

"HOLA!" I called out to all my little munchkins, they all turned their silly little human heads to me, "LISTEN UP!"

One of the smaller boys burst into tears, silly boy, I'm not scary, I'm just a vampire that will suck his blood, nothing to be afraid of.

"YOU NEED TO DO THE DEADS MAN FLOAT FOR AT LEAST TWENTY MINUTES," they all looked at me confused, "AND I WILL GIVE YOU CANDY!"

They all smiled and got to floating.

Ahh, how obedient children were, must convince Rose to get us one…

I put some music to pass the time; it was one of my favourites from Edward's Bella playlist.

'_Cody Simpson yeah," _Note to self: find this Cody Simpson_, "E-e-every minute, every second, every hour of the day, Iyiyi, every of hour of the day, iyiyi, every time that I'm away, iyiyi, missing you, missing you. Every moment, that is going, it can never be replaced, iyiyi, even if it's for a day, iyiyi, Imma text you up and say, iyiyi missing you, missing you."_ And ask him why he was so obsessed with this girl, he sounded like a certain brother of mine…

Some of the mums began to bop along to the music; soon it turned into a music madness dancing contest.

Some of the mums were backing me up while I was singing Cody Simpson, they were dancing like gangstas, screaming, "DAYUMMMMMMMMM!"

Some random teenagers from Bondi Beach had made their own team behind Cody Simpson and were dancing with some incredible moves, nothing compaired to mine though.

Soon 'The Emmett Vamps' had won, "YEAH TAKE THAT CODY! GO BACK TO SCARLETTE NOW! THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT! YEAH YEAH, CRY BITCH!" he he he, stupid little blond boy, he had all the girls crying on his shoulder, why did they love him and his cute blond hair and blue eyes, I was equally as attractive! But every time I came onto the mummies they slapped me, -sad face-

Anyway, "TAKE THAT CO-DY SIMP-SON YEAH!" I said mimicking his voice.

Next I played some Justin Bieber, how I loved the Biebz, he was so much cuter than Cody Simpson, AND he only had to tell the girl one time instead of being obsessed with her, geesh.

The girls were making great progress until JBiebz decided to show up.

I ran across the water stepping on all of their unmoving bodies to get to him, "JUUUUUSSSSSTTTTIIINNNNNNN!" I said running towards him.

He looked at me and smiled his heartbreaking smile, I almost fainted, then I remembered I can't faint, stupid vampireness.

"Justin," sigh, "Sing me a song! PLLLLEEEAAAASSSEEEE!" I begged him.

He smiled, "Anything for you Edward." He said omgosh! He called me Edward! I almost fainted again, how did he know my name, almost?

When he began to sing we started up into another dance war to 'One Time', I was a bit sad because 'Baby' was my favourite, I could rap the whole bit in the middle! This time I let him win, since I loved him and his cute little button nose so much… whaddaa babeeee.

Then he left so fast I almost cried, I spent the rest of the lesson shrivelled up into a ball sobbing, "BIEBZ! COME BACK! WAAAAHHHH!"

The mums didn't like this very much, for they started jumping into the water screaming, "HONEY! OMG! YOU KILLED MY DAUGHTER!" I don't know what they were talking about, all I knew was that Akon was totally amazing and "Troublemaker" is incredible!

Hey looks it's Akon…!

* * *

**How was it? :D :D :D**

**Do you think they should've gotten into an Akon dance battle? ;) I think Cody Simpson and Justin Bieber was enough personally xD**

**Oh and do you think the One Time remix or the original is better, I can't decide :P**

**And I know this chapter is extremely random and doesn't make all that much sense but I was listening to 'Iyiyi' At the time and couldn't resist myself xD I promise I'll stop being so gosh darn random... muahahahhahahhahahahhha... O_o**

**So pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee review and tell me to stop being such a dick and get on with the story ;)**

**Or say you love my randomness and to never change otherwise you'll send Justin Biebzzzz, Cody Simpson, Akon and Jacob Black after me with machettes, not that I'd enjoy it or anything... O_o, not that i'd lock JBiebz and JBlack in my room and make them dance and sing for me and a certain werewolf take his shirt off and dance, on my bed, did i mention without a top? **

**WHO LOVES WEREWOLVES MORE THAN VAMPIRES!**

**! HILS DOES! ME ME ME ME! **

**:P**

**So, you know the drill, review or I'll become depressed and jump off a cliff and never write on this story again! D:**

**Do you want to be responsible for the death of Emmett's swimming school?**

**D:**

**Oh, deadly dungen coming up next chapter ;)**

**Awesome Girl 101**

**I love you guys! :D :D**

**PS. I can actually rap that bit in 'Baby', can anybody else? ;)**


	4. Eric's Talking Bra's? Christmas already?

**Heyooo everyone! :D :D**

**Yes, am I not incredible at this updating thing now? ;)**

**I know you love me, no need to say it xD**

**I love you too larry! :D :D**

**Anyway,**

**I am actually very muchly enjoying writing this story, I get to let the inner feral in me free!**

**(Hils inner feral) - EVERYBODY'S !**

**Normal Hils - GET BACK IN THERE YOU STUPID LITTLE FERAL!**

**Inner feral - NOOOOOO! MUST. BE. FERALLLLLLLLLLLLLL!**

**Alright, that was a little strange...**

**Anyway!**

**Yeah you know the drill!**

**Read, review, favourite, story alert, author alert ;) Then repeat the process until your fingers and eyes bleed.**

**It will make your inner feral very happy.**

**ALERT! ***

**This story is inner feral friendly :)**

**ENJOY!**

**Bra ;)**

* * *

Akon was disappointing; he just left laughing at my 'BIEBER FEVER!' T-shirt, I couldn't understand why, Biebz was the hottest teenager in the world, and I would turn gay for him! Well him and Zac Efron and Taylor Lautner **(A/N DROOL DROOL DROOL, apart from the Biebz part, that's only Emmett xD) **

Oh well, I could see that the mum's were very angry at me and advancing on me, I was a little scared of this one mum who was as fat as China, she looked a little like a Christmas bauble… but anyway, she had a monobrow and was trying to eat me I think.

"EEEP!" I said running away at super vampire speed, unfortunately the Christmas bauble chased after me with super duper Santa speed! I screamed, jumping through the house front window, she followed.

I continued running until Rose came downstairs to see what was disrupting her beauty session, "Emmett! WHAT THE HELL!" She said pouncing on the mum and knocking her back out the window, "GET OUT!" She screeched and the Christmas bauble retreated.

I laughed at her, "Yeah! Sucked in Christmas bitch!" I yelled, she turned around and growled at me so I hid behind Rose again, "Save me" I whimpered.

She looked at me look I was from Pluto, "Emmett, you're a vampire, beat her up" She said matter of factly.

I smiled, "Oh! I forgot about that! I could've so taken her" I winked at my lovely wifey for lifey.

Rose rolled her eyes and walked off the direction of the kitchen, strange lady, how I loved her.

I smiled and skipped off to find my next thing to do for the reminder of the story.

Ahh!

I will start an 'I hate Edward and his dumbness club'?

"I heard that Emmsy Poop!" Edward called from somewhere upstairs.

Oops, "I no speaky Americano." I said innocently.

Tee Hee hee hee, he'll never question that accent!

"I can read your mind Emmett!"

ABORT, ABORT!

I jumped back through the front window and ran off towards Forks High School to find something interesting to do.

I snuck into the school wearing a ninja outfit and black dish cloth over my head that I found in Esme's cupboard, she won't miss it.

I saw two teenagers making out on top of a car, boring, where's the action in this horn machine creator.

There was a teacher who slightly resembled a blog and Mike Newton, EW, making out behind a rubbish bin out the back of the school.

I think I might actually vomit.

That image is now indented into my brain for the rest of eternity, thanks Mike.

Mike Newton, he is the rankest…

"Emmett! Bud! Is that you?" I heard Eric Yorke call out, damned, greasy haired, black haired, midget, stupid, cocky, in the way, annoying, in your face, suck up, rat, rodent, pest, vile, ugly, awful, gross, grotty, rank, teacher's pet, animal, faeces, disgusting excuse for a human…

"Eric! Mate!" I said grabbing him and hugging him in one of my famous bear hugs, "How's life treating ya?" Stupid, greasy…

"Ahh, life's good braaaa," Why was he talking about women's underwear, "Haven't seen ya at school for a few weeks." He stated happily.

REALLY? NO SHIT!  
GOLD STAR FOR ERIC GENIOUS OF THE MONTH!

"_I'd like to thank Emmett, my best and only friend for this award…"_

"_EMMETT HATES YOU!" _

"_Stupid, greasy, disgusting, excuse for a… LAB RAT?"_

**(A/N. Stupid Eric, can anyone think of more insults?)**

"Yeah, it's because…"

I ran off and jumped into the bin next to Newton and teacher, tee hee, stupid Eric.

I could hear Mike and the teacher making gross make out noises outside the bin so I grabbed out my IPhone, yeah, I'm just that cool, and began to film them in the filthy act of animal love.

It was truly horrific.

I wonder how many hits this will get on YouTube!

I ran off like a ninja all the way home, and logged onto my YouTube account as soon as I got home.

_IwishIwasEmmettMcCarthy _

It was clearly the most popular account on the whole website.

Even more popular than that chick who sings and makes people cry of pain, or that dude who sings about baby dolls, or Natalie, we all love her and her grocery shopping adventures!

I put the video up and added a few animal noises and babam! Instant stardom!

The video received twenty eight hits in the first ten minutes… ahh, the sweet smell of success…

Wait!

Horny teenagers!

I KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!

A teenager's dating site!

Oh Emmett, how were you born with such brains and brawn?

* * *

**Oh how I love you my version of Emmsy Poopsss.**

**Whadda babe right? ;)**

**Does anyone actually read my author phsyco, psyhco, pyscho, pyshco, babble?**

**I know I enjoy babbling, a whole babble lot! :D :D**

**What did you guys think anyway?**

**I actually want to hear your opinon, I AM SERIOUS! :D :D**

**I love you guys who do read this and review, everyone else who just reads and no review for Hils, well, shame on you. **

**YOU MAKE EMMETT AND ERIC DEPRESSED!**

**NOT TO MENTION JUSTIN BIEBER!**

**ILAAAYYY CODY SIMPSON!**

**I promise if you review I will give you a choice of Jacob Black (AUTHOR DROOL ALERT), Justin Bieber (Baby, baby, baby NOOO!), Cody Simpson, Akon ;) AND any of the stupid Cullen's you like :P**

**But not Zac Efron, he's all mine ;) :D ;) :D ;) :D**

**Anyway, **

**Think I've rambled enough, yay? nay?**

**Loving life.**

**Love Awesome Girl 101.**

**Honestly, do I have to say this everytime that I'm the awesomest? ;)**

**!**

**(I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH THAT I LOVE YOU UNTIL MY HEART HURTS FROM EXTRACTING SO MUCH LOVE FROM IT UNTIL IT BLEEDS A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE DEATH FROM LOVING YOU TOO MUCH!)**


	5. Lauren likes Emmett?

**Heyo everyone :)**

**Yes I know it's really short, but I've been doing really well at updating lately, but I didn't really have time to write a long one.**

**I'm kind of becoming less inspired and it's getting harder and harder for me to write this store.**

**Sorry guys, anyone has any ideas? Feel free to share!**

**Enjoy :)**

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First things first, a name for the website, um…

_Forks High Horny Teens dot com_

That will do it!

Now, to find a way to broadcast it…

Oh I know!

I'll write about it in my facebook status! Yes, that will make it popular… **(A/N HOW I LOVE YOU FACEBOOK!)**

I wrote, 'Join this awesome new dating site just for teens at FHS, it's totally wicked!' then I put the link in it.

I had three likes as soon as I posted it and two comments, both of which from Mike Newton and Eric Yorke, stupid losers…

Within an hour I had twenty likes, wow, I didn't know I was so popular, must remember to not drink their blood.

But then again, I am forgetful.

Oh well, they don't matter to anyone.

I went to my dating site, ahhh, 29 members on the first day! Stupid lonely teenagers, muahahaha.

I created an account myself just so I could see what losers joined.

I was called,

No one would ever guess that its me!

I edited my profile and searched around for some bimbos to chat to.

I found myself Lauren Mallory, hehehe, I started chatting to her and she responded instantly.

_**Laurenishot4ever – **__Heya Emmie Bear._

I laughed because her name looks like, _Lauren I shot 4 ever._

_**– **__Heeeyyyyy Laurennnnn. How's lifeeee honey bearrr?_

_**Laurenishot4ever – **__OMG, life is so boring! I G2G Sweet Pea, TTYL._

_**– **__Sweet Pea sugar?_

Oh how rude, she logged off without saying goodbye! All she said was a bunch of random letters! Well I'll show her…

"EMMETT!" I heard someone call from downstairs, ahh it was my beautiful wifey for lifey, Rose.

"YES ROSE?" I called back sweetly.

She appeared in the doorway of Alice's bedroom, "First, WHY DID LAUREN MALLORY JUST CALL ME SAYING 'I stole your man bimbo!' WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?" She said ever so sweetly.

I smiled, "Because I've started up a dating site and I was talking to my loser members, until she called me sweet pea and logged off" How could she be mad at me over that?

Rose looked a tad angry, "YOU DID WHAT?" no, she wasn't angry, she loved me too much! I know she'd understand.

"I started up a dating site because all the teens at Forks High are so lonely and will never find love on their own." I smiled kindly.

She rolled her eyes, "Alright, whatever, just, don't talk to Lauren anymore." She sighed, "And second, why are you in Alice and Jasper's room?"

I giggled in a girly voice, "Because we don't have a computer silly."

I jumped up and skipped downstairs, off to Lauren's house it is!

Lauren lives on the other side of Fork's to us, next to the dreaded Jessica Stanley, ew.

I ran to her window on the bottom floor and jumped through it, she was lying on her bed in some skimpy little dress, yukkie.

She looked at the window and freaked out, she couldn't see me because I was hiding in her closet, tee hee.

I decided to start freaking her out.

I grabbed my water pistol I kept in my Emmett Emergency belt and began to pray it all over her room, she jumped up off the bed and squeled, "WHAT THE HELL?" She said running towards to door.

I ran out extra fast, locked the door and ran back to the closet before she saw me. Works every time.

She banged on the door trying to escape, no way Blondie.

Then I jumped back out her window and ran off home, but not before I filmed Lauren making a feeble attemp to jump out of her window, stupid human.

Well that was fun.

Back to the computer!

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**So howww was it?**

**Sorry it's pretty bad and a little boring, but as I said, I couldn't think of anything, I'm having major writer's block :P**

**ANY IDEAS, TELL ME! I'm so open to them!**

**Plus, I also love reviews ;)**

**So, thanks for reading it haha.**

**Love,**

**Hils, AKA, Awesome Girl 101.**

**Ily.**


	6. SparklingVampireWeirdoLion

**Hey guys! Yes I know, I haven't updated in over two months :/ I'm awful! I'm so sorry guys! Anyway, I dedicate this chapter to GabbiBearQueenOfFudgerWaffles I freaking loved your review and I love PMing you! :) :) You're freaking amazing, anyway, haha, if you all like this chapter you all have her to thank since I never originally planned to update this again :D**

**Anyway, on with the story!**

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After all that excitement at Lauren's I got a little bored,

So I decided to log back onto my website!

I found that I already had seventeen friends! I'M SO FRIGGIN POPULAR!

I scrolled through them until I found one that I didn't recognise, the others were all obvious to who they were, I mean there was, _Jessibabeforlife, BigJockMike, Ben'sgirl, Angela'sman, Laurenishot4ever, _and _Eric. _They were just some of the stupid names the FHS kids came up with, but the one I couldn't get was all cryptic, it was, _BarbieBlond, _I thought Lauren was the only other blond besides my Rose! Oh well.

I decided to talk to her.

_IwishIwasEmmettMcCarthy _– Hey! I'm Emmett! Who is this?

**BarbieBlond **– the girl of your dreams.

_IwishIwasEmmettMcCarthy _– that's silly! I don't dream!

**BarbieBlond **– Emmett you dope! It's me! YOU TOLD ME YOU WEREN'T GOING TO USE THIS STUPID SITE ANYMORE!

_IwishIwasEmmettMcCarthy –_ okay, but how can I tell you that if I don't even know who you are silly?

**BarbieBlond – **OMG, you are so thick sometimes, why the hell did I even marry you?

_IwishIwasEmmettMcCarthy – _Marry you? Oh god! Rosie is going to kill me!

**BarbieBlond – **why do I even bother?

_IwishIwasEmmettMcCarthy – _please don't tell her! I'll do anything!

**BarbieBlond – **anything hey?

_IwishIwasEmmettMcCarthy – _yes! PLEASE! I LOVE MY ROSIE SO MUCH!

**BarbieBlond – **okay, if you love her so much and you don't want me to tell her you have to do this for me. You have to do everything your Rosie says and you can't insult her at all, you must compliment her every thirty seconds and buy her everything she likes, are we clear? Oh and you must annoy Edward!

_IwishIwasEmmettMcCarthy – _I'm on it!

I logged off and ran downstairs to find Rose.

"ROSALIE? WHERE ARE YOU SNOOKEMS?" I called out so sweetly.

"In here Emmett!" I heard her call out sweetly. I walked towards her door and I could hear laughter, "He fell for it!"

"Are you friggin serious? That's so like him" I heard Alice and Rosalie talking.

"Who did you fool? I bet ya it was Mike Newton, that kid's so stupid! This one time-"

"Emmett, honey, we don't want to know." Rosie said ever so sweetly throwing a book at my head.

Alice jumped up leaving, "Have fun you guys" she called before turning and winking at Rosie.

"So Emmett, is there something you're here for?" She asked ever so sweetly.

I smiled, "Yes honey buns! I am here to do everything you say and to compliment you every thirty seconds and buy you everything you like!" I declared, "Oh and I must annoy Edward!" I said almost forgetting.

Rosie's smile grew huge, "Ahh Emmett, that's so sweet! Why are you doing this?" She asked nicely.

"I uh… wanted to uh… um… make you… uh…" I tried to think of a good excuse, "ALRIGHT! I'M SORRY! I MARRIED SOME OTHER WOMAN AND SHE THREATENED TO TELL YOU IF I DIDN'T DO ALL THOSE THINGS FOR YOU!" Smooth Emmett, real smooth.

Rosie erupted in laughter, "You silly man!" She said stepping towards me and stroking my face, "That was me you moron! BarbieBlond is me!"

My jaw dropped open, "You!... YOU… YOU _lied!" _I pointed my finger at her in accusation, "YOU LIED TO ME!" I broke out in tears, until I remembered I couldn't cry.

Rosalie scowled, "No, _you _lied to _me." _I was confused, "You told me that you weren't going to go on that site anymore and then you start chatting me up. So we're even. Even thought I would've liked it if you did annoy Edward… but oh well."

I smiled, "I think that can be arranged" I said smiling evilly, "Where is he?"

She rolled her eyes, "Where do you think? With that stupid girlfriend of his, I don't understand why he doesn't just eat her already, it's not nice leading her on like he is."

I nodded, "I'd like you to do something for me" I smiled evilly.

"Yes?" She asked.

"We're going to make Edward and Bella accounts on my website and set them up dates with Jessica Stanley and Mike Newton and then when they show up at their doors tonight we can film it and use it against them!" I declared.

"Emmett! That's genius!" Rosie said patting my hair, "I'll make Bella's and you make Edward's, make Jessica show up at our door at seven o'clock okay? I'll do the same to Mike"

I smiled running to my computer and making Edward an account, I decided to call him _SparklingVampireWeirdoLion__. _

I added Jessica and began to chat her up.

___SparklingVampireWeirdoLion _– Hey Jess!

_**Jessibabeforlife**_ – Hey, who is this?

___SparklingVampireWeirdoLion _– Edward! Duh!

_**Jessibabeforlife**__ – _OMGOSH! HEY EDWARD! WHERE'S BELLA?

___SparklingVampireWeirdoLion _– we broke up :'(

_**Jessibabeforlife**__ – _Omgosh! That bitch! Did she dump you?

_SparklingVampireWeirdoLion _– Yeah, because I'm gender confused and I like men, also because I'm a sparkling lion weirdo who spends more time with his piano than with his girlfriend, plus I spent half of my time trying not to eat her but who really cares about that right?

_**Jessibabeforlife**__ – _I feel your pain babey!

_SparklingVampireWeirdoLion _– yeah, anyway, you wanna go out?

_**Jessibabeforlife**__ – _yeah totally!

_SparklingVampireWeirdoLion _– awesome! :D :D Show up at my house at seven o-clock okay?

_**Jessibabeforlife**__ – _sure I'll be-

I logged off before she finished her sentence.

This is going to be fun.

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**Sooooo?**

**What did you think?**

**I _LOVE REVIEWS!_**

**Please review! It means the world to me! :) :)**

**Anyway, DO IT! REVIEW! Does it annoy anyone else how when you go upload your documents fanfic deletes words if it doesn't like them? It fucking annoys me. **

**Bye! Love always, Awesome Girl 101.**


	7. Bella dumps Edward?

**Heyyy guys! Yes I know, i'm Awesome (hehehehehhehee) I have updated all three of my stories in one day! Whoop! Haha, anyways, this is my christmas present to you all, i think this one's especially funny ;) I dedicate this chapter to Alice Cullen 3, you are becoming one of my most loyal readers :) and Gabbi again :D **

**Enjoy guys! Merry Robert Pattinson and a happy New Moon! May all your days be merry! (Hehe you should see what I made my friend for christmas xD)**

**Enjoy! :)**

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_Ding dong._

I snickered.

_Ding dong._

"Emmett get the door!" I heard Edward call, stupid grouchy, good for nothing sparkle boy, "Emmett I heard that!" I snickered again, I heard shuffling, "Fine, whatever, I'll get it, you big buffoon."

I snickered running to the top of the stairs to watch while I saw Rose sneak around the corner with a video camera to record the whole thing. Alice and Jasper were at Bella's house doing the same thing with the Mike date.

I started singing the Canadian national anthem in my head backwards, stupid Canadians, living next door to us, but their flag is pretty awesome though, I wonder where you find those…

"Jessica?"

I burst out laughing and almost rolled down the stairs, Alice slapped her hand over my mouth and tried to stifle her giggles as well, I saw Rose doing the same.

"Hey Eddie babyyy, I know, I'm bit early, but I was just so excited for our date!" Jessica called trying to be seductive.

"Oh dear god," Edward said turning towards me, "Emmett I am going to kill you with a rusty knife while I drag it through your scalp backwards and fourth"

I laughed, "That's only if you can catch me bro, plus, you might need a lot more than that to kill me, Mr _Stanley!" _I said rolling down the stairs while laughing.

Edward stood their shaking furiously, "I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU!"

"Is this before or after your date with Jessica?" I asked calmly.

"WHY YOU," He slammed the door in Jessica's face, "GET BACK HERE!" He called as I ran off.

I ran straight to Bella's house to see what was going to happen there, Jasper was positioned in the forest by her front yard with a camera while Alice was inside telling Bella to answer the door.

I was just in time to see Bella walk up to the door, mouth full of food, and Mike standing there with a bouquet of flowers, "Uh, hey Mike… what're you doing…?" She asked cautiously.

I walked up next to Jasper who grinned at me, I stifled my laughter, "I'm here for our date, remember?" He asked as she continued to stare at him, "You said you and Edward broke up and you asked me out yesterday afternoon…? Any of this ring a bell?" she shook her head, "Dammit, I've been bamboozled!"

Alice ran to the door then, "Oh no Mike! Bella hit her head, she suffered short term memory loss of the past twenty four hours, she'll be right out in ten minutes!" Alice called shoving Bella upstairs, Mike shuffled awkwardly and as Alice promised Bella was back in ten minutes sharp, "Here she is! You two crazy kids have fun!" She called as Bella was pushed onto Mike.

"So Bella, you ready?" He asked wriggling his eyebrows.

I stifled laughter again, "Uh, yeah… just… gimmie a moment will you? You uh… wait in the car ok…?" She said walking back into the house only to find that Alice had deadlocked it.

I let out a small laugh before slapping my hand over my mouth; she glared at me through the trees, dammit! WE'VE BEEN CAUGHT!

"RETREAT!" I screamed and ran away; Jasper stayed still laughing as Bella stalked towards him, "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE JAZZY!" I called running back to grab him.

"Wait, Emmett shut up you moron! This is going to make a great wedding video!" jasper hissed at me.

I smiled, "Yes… if it's even on, you never know, she might fall head over heels crazy in love with Mike after their date?" I offered.

Jasper grinned in response.

"What the hell do you guys think you're doing?" Bella hissed, I grinned.

"Oh nothing, Bellsprout, thought you'd enjoy a little date with mike, Edward's on his with Jessica as we speak." I said smiling sweetly.

"He… he's on a date with Jessica?" Jasper and I nodded in unison, she frowned, "Well, I'll show him for cheating on me!" She declared walking back out of the trees, "Come on Mike, let's go on the best date of my life, get smashed, have wild uncontrolled HUMAN sex and never speak to EDWARD or Jessica again!" She yelled.

Mike nodded and ran to the car, oh yeah; the plan was working out excellently.

Mike and Bella drove off and I waved them off into the distance, "What a cute couple" I said, Jasper burst out laughing and Alice came outside cacking herself too.

"Edward is going to kill you!" Alice spat out between laughs, "You should see his face when he comes crashing through those trees in three seconds, it's going to be gold! Jazzy get the camera ready!"

Edward came crashing furiously through the trees, Alice was right, he looked like an angry telly tubby, "WHAT THE HELL EMMETT?" He yelled.

Alice fell over laughing and began rolling; Jasper was trying really hard to keep the camera steady.

I grinned, "I'm sorry your antenna broke but you don't need to take it out on us!" He said to him.

This seemed to anger him further, "I swear to god Emmett, if that was Mike Newton she drove down the road with I may actually kill you."

I smiled, "Better go buy me a coffin," He began to run at me, "Bye guys! Remember to put that on YouTube!" I called sprinting away.

"Emmett get your big dumb arse back here!" Edward yelled, "I WILL KILL YOU!"

I laughed, "Rosie never complained!" I called as he chased me all the way back home.

Edward came crashing through the door only to be stopped by Carlisle, "oh come on!" He wined before stalking off back out the door.

I grinned again, "Thanks pops!" I ran to my room, "Rosie!" I called.

She responded instantly by grinning hugely at me, "Did you get it?" I asked her, she nodded, "LEMME SEE!" I said eagerly.

She showed me the video in which after I run away Jessica grabs Edward's arm and demands he go on the date with her, he then screams like a little girl before yelling curse words at Rosie in which she flipped him off then he turned and squealed again before telling Jessica it was all a huge joke.

She then did the best thing I could've hoped for.

She told him she wouldn't leave unless he kissed her, his face was priceless!

He kissed her on the lips before pushing her dazed arse all the way back to the car and then noticed Rosie was filming him and ran after her until Esme stopped him and yelled at him, bloody classic!

I rolled on the floor in hysterics while she grinned at me in return, "Dude! You should see Bella's reaction! She is soooo going to dump his sorry arse!"

Just then I heard Edward come back into the house with a very angry Bella.

Rosie picked up the camera and began recording again as we both went to the top of the stairs and watched the show.

"BECAUSE YOU WENT ON A DATE WITH JESSICA!" Bella screamed at him punching him repeatedly, "YOU FREAKING ARSEHAT! I AM GOING TO DUMP YOUR SORRY ARSE AND GO CALL JACOB!" She declared.

"It wasn't my fault!" Edward pleaded, liar much Eddie, "It was him!" He pointed his finger at me.

"Oh yeah, HOW THE HELL IS THIS EMMETT'S FAULT? YOU ALWAYS BLAME EMMETT! WHAT DID HE EVER DO TO YOU! YOU MEAN PERSON I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU BLAME EVERYONE ELSE FOR WHAT YOU DID YOU… YOU… VAMPIRE!" She said crying and punching him in the face, "OH SHIT! YOU BROKE MY HAND! YOU ARSEHOLE! JACOB NEVER HURT ME!" She declared.

"NOT TRUE!" He yelled in response, "He broke your hand last week! HOW IS THAT NEVER HURTING YOU?" he said.

She cried, "At least he cared when I hurt myself!" she punched him in the face again, "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY HAND! YET AGAIN EDWARD, YET AGAIN!" She said imitating Eclipse Parody by RavenClawlds89.

He frowned and pulled her into his arms, "I love you Isabella Marie Swan, soon to be Cullen." She sobbed and he smacked a big sloppy vampire human kiss on her lips.

They soon began going at it like animals, "EW! PG13 PG13!" I yelled. They ignored me and kept kissing, "Freaking rankos. I'LL GET MY ARMY NERD ARMY ONTO YOU!" I yelled, when they ignored me more I pulled out my phone, "Yes, Gabbi, we have a serious problem, you ready to get Awesome Girl 101 and kill Bella?"

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**Hhaha! What did you think? See Gabbi! I told you that I would include our army in the story ;) Who else wants to be a part of the army? It will be EPIC! Just tell me if you do! It's going to put this story on the map ;) Thanks all, have a wonderfully hot christmas (Or cold for you Nothern Hemisphere goers) and try not to burn alive, although the weathers been rather shittily cold lately :P**

**MERRY CHIRSTMAS! WHOOP! **

**Love always, Awesome Girl 101. REVIEW FOR ARMY RIGHTS!**


	8. LET'S KILL BELLA! Nerd's Have Army's?

**Hey guys! How was everyone's christmas? What did everyone get from Santa? ;) Anyway, this is my New Years present to you all! I may update before then, I may not, I just wanted to make sure I got this one up though :) **

**And I will say the same thing I said in Twilight Big Bro, is that I will try to finish this story before summer ends because next year I will be going to boarding school and I will have no time to ever even think of my stories, I will try to update them every three weeks when i'm home on the weekend but there will be no guaranties, I won't be starting any more stories and if I don't finish this story I promise I will try to get it finished eventually. I love you all and thankyou for sticking with me for all of this time. **

**Enjoy the chapter! Love you all :)**

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"Emmett, what are you doing? Why are you thinking about cheese? You don't even eat!" Edward said grumpily, his Bella had gone home over two hours ago and he couldn't go see her until Charlie was sleeping like the creepy stalker guy he is.

"I'm not a grumpy, creepy stalker, and stop thinking about cheese!" Edward said walking off, stupid, sparkly, gay, lion, masochistic, grumpy, Volvo, piano, homo- "EMMETT! I'M NOT GAY FOR THE LAST TIME!" Homosexual, gay, ugly…

My phone began ringing, I tried very hardly to keep thinking about Gouda, like Viola's favourite on She's the Man, mmmm, Channing Tatum…

I waited until Eddikins was out of 'hearing' distance and at Bellsprout's house.

I snickered, "Yes Gabbi?"

"_We have the whole army here, and all of our best soldiers set off with their little teams," _She replied.

"How many?" I asked.

"_Uh… over thirty minimum, we have four different teams"_

I began to laugh evilly, "Excellent, you guys be outside my house in ten minutes?" I asked.

"_See ya then, Nerd Army out!" _

Muahahahaha, Eddy will soon get his come up ins, muahahahaha.

I heard the doorbell ding, I ran to answer it, it was Awesome Girl 101, "Sorry, we're early; we were all just so excited!" She said eagerly.

I grinned at her deviously, "Can I speak to the other three leaders also?" I asked evilly.

She nodded grinning at me evilly as well; "Sure," She turned to yell something, "OH MY JACOB, GABBIBEARQUEENOFFUDGERWAFFLES, GUMMI-BEARZ!" She called, three other girls who came over and stood in front me, "Here they are," She declared.

They all nodded and waved at me eagerly, "Let's get this show on the row bitches!" I yelled, they raised their fists in agreement and began yelling tribal orders, "Alright, Oh My Jacob, you take your team to Bella's window and spy on her, Gabbi, Gummi-bearz and Awesome Girl 101, you guys are ambushing from the front with me," They nodded and yelled orders at their teams, "Let's get Bella killing" I smiled evilly.

I yelled an order out to my team of Bella killers, Rosalie was my captain, and we all ran to Bella's house in harmony.

We waited until OMJ gave us the signal that it was safe and then ambushed the house, we ran to Bella's front door and I knocked, waiting for her to appear.

"Oh, hey Emmett." She said smiling at me.

"ATTACK!" I screamed and all of the fan girls ran for Bella pushing her down and drawing on her with dreaded crayons, some even threw money in her face, "MAKE SURE THERE'S MONEY IN HER MOUTH!" I yelled, and my army obeyed.

We put makeup on her, shoved money in her mouth and filled her room with it. We dressed her in the most expensive dress Alice owned and in fifteen inch high heels; we even put her hair up! We threw volleyballs at her and made her try to hit them back, "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" I said as Rosie Posie made her beautiful.

Bella began crying, "Please! I'll do anything, just stop making me exercise!" She begged, my army put her in a giant rat wheel and made her run faster, "Please stop trying to make me beautiful!" We threw expensive gifts at her, "PLEASE STOP SPENDING MONEY ON ME!" She cried.

Edward burst through the door then, "WHAT THE HELL?" he screamed saving Bella and hugging her.

My army groaned, "Dammit! We were having fun with her! YOU HAD TO COME RUIN IT!" I yelled.

My army muttered insults at Edward and thought awful mean thoughts about Bella and how gay he is, I joined in.

"Emmett, why would you do this? She says you forced her to exercise and spent money on her! How could you be so cruel?" Edward asked.

I put my hands up defensively, "Hey, it's not my fault she hates things normal people love!" I yelled turning to my army who were glaring at Edward, "Wouldn't you rather make an entire army of Bella haters happy instead of one stupid Bella?" I asked and Edward shook his head, "Selfish!"

My army hissed, "LET'S ATTACK EDWARD!" my army screamed, "KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL!"

I smiled evilly, "RUN FREE MY PRETTIES! KILL HIM!" my army obeyed and chased Edward all the way through Forks leaving Bella sitting on the couch, I went and sat next to her, "Hey Bellsprout, how's life?" she turned and glared at me, "Geesh, what's your problem? Grumpy mean human…" I mumbled walking towards the door of her house, "Here, have some money," I said shoving more money in her mouth and walking out of the door, "Children these days…"

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**Howwww was it? Did you guys like it? It was fun to write Bella being tortured, stupid werewolf hurter :) Anyway, please review! I would love to make it to twenty with this chapter xD And if you guys find time could you please consider reading my two other stories? If you want another comedy one go with Twilight Big Bro, but if you would like something a little more serious please consider Responsibilty Of Love, thankyou guys :)**

**Love always, Awesome Girl 101.**


	9. Pianos burn high! Cullen's can be cruel

**Hey everyone! Happy 2011! Can you believe it? I can't! haha. Alrighty, so, I thought I'd write this as my New years present to you all ;) Yes I know, i'm a bad person who hasn't updated since before christmas :/ but, this chapter is worth it I promise! haha.**

**Okay, so here it is guys, enjoy :D**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. BUT, i do own the nerd army and their evil plans ;)**

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After I stormed out of Bella's house I went after my army to see the progress they were making on Edward.

I saw him up in a tree while I bunch of fan girls were flocking him and my army were burning his piano.

"Oh please no! Anything but my piano!" My army lit up higher, "MY LULLABY!" he began vampire weeping (Its the form in which one cries without tears or any actual normal human features) "WAAAAHHHH."

I smiled evilly, "It is all going according to plan." Makes V with eyebrows.

MollyxKookie comes bursting down the street with her followers, "Am I too late?‼?" she yelled desperately.

I smiled evilly at her giving her the nerd army signal, "It's never to late to torture Edward." I said deviously.

She cackled an evil laugh, "I was r_eally _looking forward to killing Bella…" She wined facing her army, "But Edward is almost as good." Holds spear in air, "ATTACKK! IYIYIYIYIYI!"

"NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO SING CODY SIMPSON!" Oh My Jacob yelled thrusting a spear into Edward's piano whilst Gummi-Bearz spears Edward up the arse.

"iT'S ALWAYS TIME FOR CODY!" MollyxKookie retorts, "And Justin too!"

Cody Simpson bursts through the trees with a spear and handgun, "DID SOMEONE CALL FOR AN AUSTRALIAN CUTIE?"

The entire army squealed and some fainted, "CODY SIMPSON! Oh my GOSH‼‼‼" the began groping him and feeling his thirteen year old abs.

"How come I can't get a response like this!" Edward yelled.

"Awe, shucks." Cody said swatting some fans away, "I know I'm just so cute," He looks at Edward who is stuck in the tree with numerous spears up his arse, "Would you like some backround music to your Edward kkilling?"

"AHHHHHHHH! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" I screamed like a little girl.

Flo Rida bursts up next to Cody, "Alright, let's get this show on the row!"

"CODY SIMPSON YEAHH!"

"SHORTIE SHORTIE HOOTIE HOOTIE ALWAYS MISSING YOU."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The squealing continued on and on as spears were shoved into Edward's arse and piano, I'm not sure which he was more upset about.

"BELLA! SAVE ME!" Edward started squealing.

Bella runs down the street in the dress and heels only tripping over a dog, pot hole, tree stump, rock, pebble, own shoe, heel, another pot hole, cat, ant, cricket, boulder, stop light, rock, street lamp, ant, thin air.

"I'M COMING EDDIKKINS!" Bella screamed as she finally made it out of her front yard.

I ran towards her, "Jesus Christ, this is taking too long!" I picked her up and piggy backed her all the way to Edward, "See, all better." I turned to my army, "NOW ATTACK THEM BOTH!"

My army closed in on Edward and Bella and began thrusting spears at them "DIEEEE!"

Alice appears in the street between Bella and the army, "STOP!"

"Alice! You've come to save me!" Bella yelled happily.

Alice looked at her like she was insane, "What, no." Turns to army, "Please, please, at least take off the dress before you attack her! It's Prada!"

Bella starts crying and looks depressed while the army strips Bella and begins attacking.

Edward gets speared while he stares at Bella's half naked body, "Damnnn guuurrrllllll, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

Bella giggles while being mauled, "Oh, you." They begin making out as they are clawed to death and forced to see their favourite things killed.

Oh My Jacob and her army keep killing and burning the piano and Edward's sheet music.

MollyxKookie and Gabbi throw bombs into Bella's truck (IT'S CALLED A UTE GEESH) and Bella's converse shoes.

"OH GOD! ANYTHING BUT MY TRUCK AND CONVERSE!"

Army stops and moves towards La Push to start on the werewolves.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! GO FOR THE TRUCK! PLEASE DON'T HURT JACOB!"

Edward turns to Bella, "What? So you're STILL hung up on that dog!" Bella stares at him wide mouthed, "YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME! YOU LIE TO ME! MY GOD BELLA! WE'RE GETTING MARRIED YOU ARSEHOLE! AND YOU ABUSED ME FOR GOING OUT WITH JESSICA!"

Bella starts crying, "I'm sorry! But I love you more!"

"DON'T YOU PULL THAT ON ME! I COULD HAVE ANY GIRL I WANT! I SHOULD GO CALL JESSICA UP NOW!" Edward pulls out his phone and dials Jessica's number, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't!" he yelled.

Bella continues blubbering, "Because… I'LL GO HAVE WEREWOLF BABIES WITH THE ENTIRE PACK AND MIKE NEWTON!"

Edward gasps, "NO! ALRIGHTT, ALRIGHT! Let's stay together okay?" Bella nods, "Phewww."

"Are you guys done?" Alice asks annoyed, the nod, "Good," Turns to OH MY Jacob, "Hey, do you think you could shave Edward's head and blow up his Volvo while you're at it?" Oh my Jacob nods, "Good. MUAHAHAHAHA."

I high fived the midget pixie, "I knew you were my sister for a reason!" we laughed evilly in time.

Jasper and Rosalie walk through the trees with bambi popcorn, "Hey guys," Watch MollyxKookie shish kebab Edward, "OOhhh, nice swing!"

The army blow up Edward and Bella's cars and favourite objects, including Edward's ego.

"Wow, I never knew violence could be so entertaining." Rosalie called.

Alice and I laughed evilly, "You haven't seen anything yet."

* * *

**Howwww was ittttt?**

**Do you love it? Did you hate it? oh who cares, I want to hear you opinion anyway ;) Alright, so can you all PLEASE review and tell me what you thought! I love reviews more than I love my nerd army! Okay, maybe not that much... but common, it's am army full of NERDS!**

**REVIEW.**

**Love always, Awesome Girl 101.**

**PS. Have I said this already? Hmm, maybe I'll say it again.**

**REVIEW.**


	10. Deadly In The Dungeon! finally

Hey guys! :) I have to say, I'm freaking impressed with all the reviews I got for the last chapter! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH NO JOKE. So a special thanks to these people: **Nobody Understands **for going through and reviewing **every single chapter - **you freaking rock! Also to **Alice Cullen 3 **for still being one of my most loyal reviewers and not only constantly reviewing this story but for reviewing Twilight Big Brother too - I love you co-host! Next thankyou is to **All of you guys who have stayed with this story from the start! **And yes, Broken Muse 8, it is rather random aha.

So thankyou guys! I don't know what I'd do without you (Actually I do, I wouldn't write this story xD) Thankyou, I love to feel loved!

**Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight and any of it's characters or contents. I do, however, own my nerd army and their evil schemes, they are truely brilliant really ;)**

* * *

"Do you think they would let me shave Edward's head?" My sweet Rosie Posie asked as Oh My Jacob thrust another spear up Edwards hoo hoo, "I mean, I've always said that if someone was to mame Edward's locks that it'd be me."

I sighed in awe, "I knew I married you for a reason apart from your hot looks!" Rosalie death glared at me, "And your rocking personality!" Phewf.

Alice pulled a deadly looking electric shaver out of her handbag, "Here, but go easy on his scalp, he pays like $111111111110000000000000000 dollars on that thing."

"I THOUGHT IT WAS NATURAL!" Bella cried from the trees.

"PSHT!" Jasper began laughing, "How can someone who doesn't sleep possibly have 'bed' hair?"

Bella gasped, "YOU LIED TO ME!" She thrust a finger at Edward's face, "HOW DARE YOU!"

Edward glared at Jasper, "OH, SO _I LIED?" _

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M SAYING!" Bella yelled, "DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN TO ME?"

Edward growled, "WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE TIMES YOU LIED TO ME?"

"WHICH TIMES?"

"'I DON'T LOVE JACOB, WE'RE JUST FRIENDS', 'I WANT TO BE A VAMPIRE', 'I'M TEAM EDWARD NOT TEAM JACOB', 'I'M SWITZERLAND AND THEN I'LL JUST GO AND BLAME EDWARD FOR EVERYTHING'" Edward was listing off all of the things, Bella's a bit of a lying bitch, "YOU LIE TO ME DAILY!"

Bella gasped, "LIES!"

"EXACTLY! LIAR!" Edward started doing a jig on the spot, "LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE! YELP!" He was silenced by Awesome Girl 101 shoving a spear in his mouth.

"MUAHAHAHA!" She cackled evilly.

Nobody Understands flew down the street on a flying surfboard like the Silver Surfer, "HEY GUYS!" Waves hyperactively, "Wow, you guys did a knock out job!"

My Nerd Army blushed and proved their point by jamming spear up Bella's rear end.

Alice jumped around on the spot, "OH MY GOD!" She clutched onto Jasper's arm, "DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS?"

"No?" Jasper asked his beloved confused.

Alice smacked him across the head just as Rosalie squealed.

"AHHHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD! I LOVE YOU!" Rosalie latched onto Nobody Understands arm, "PLEASE, TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!"

Alice latched onto her other arm, "YES, TEACH US! WE WANT TO LEARN!"

NU **(A/N Nobody Understands it's too long to write, sorry xD) **smiled deviously and wriggled her eyebrows, "Why yes, yes I can."

"Wait, what's going on here?" Jasper was staring at the girls with a confused expression.

Rosalie turned to glare at her brother, "DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO THIS IS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

I decided to keep my mouth shut about this chick.

"THIS IS NOBODY UNDERSTANDS! SHE'S LIKE A LEGEND!" Alice screeched.

"In what way?" SHUT UP JASPER! DO YOU WANT TO BE FORCED INTO HEELS?

"SHE SINGLE HANDEDLY PUSHED ALICE IN WONDERLAND INTO THAT RABBIT HOLE." Rosalie said making wild hand gestures, "SHE SINGLE HANDEDLY THREW A GRANADE INTO BELLA'S WINDOW LAST WEEK!" she turned to gaze at NU, "she is my idol."

NU blushed, "Aw, shucks," Turns to where Cody Simpson and Flo Rida are still singing/rapping, "Do you guys think you could turn up the volume?" Cody nodded, "BTWs, I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!" Holds up Cody Simpson '#1 fan and wifey for lifey' poster.

Cody winks, "I'm sorry, but I'm promised to Awesome Girl 101 as a Christmas present, maybe in 2012?" NU nods vigorously, "Awesome! Girl, hehehehe."

"Oh My Jacob, can you chuck me that spear?" Gummi-Bearz yelled out eagerly.

Oh My Jacob chucked the spear to Gummi-Bearz at the same time shish kebabing Edward.

"EDWARDO!" Bella started screaming as she got makeup put on her face by MollyxKookie, "MAKE IT STOP!"

"NOT UNTIL YOU APPOLOGISE FOR LYING TO ME!" Damn, Edward was getting cranky in his old age.

"SHUT UP YOU ARSEHOLES!" Awesome Girl 101 screamed as she shoved another spear down Edward's throat, "Thankyou!"

Cody winks at Awesome Girl 101, "Hey AG," *sigh* "Nice spear throwing."

Awesome Girl 101 blushed, "Thankyou, Codster" winks back, "giggle."

"Did you just say 'giggle' out loud?"

"SHUT UP LEECH!" Awesome Girl 101 shoved another spear down Edward's throat, "DO YOU NEVER LEARN?"

Oh My Jacob sets fire to Edward's shoe, "Great team work, AG!" Hi fives her team mate, "How are you guys doing on Bella?" She called out to Gabbi and Gummi-Bearz and MollyxKookie.

Gabbi grinned evilly, "Project 'Spend money on Bellsprout, call her stupid names, make her beautiful and do her hair' is going fantastic!"

The Nerd Army cheered.

Nobody Understands interrupts the entire Edward/Bella killings, "Guys! Let's throw them into the deadly dungeon!** (A/N SEE I TOLD YOU IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!) **It's really cold and dark down there! They're both afraid of the dark so it's perfect!"

Damn, that girl was good.

They did 'three cheers for NU' and picked Edward and Bella up and carried them to the dungeon angry mob style.

"Kill, kill, kill, kill."

I chanted in the spirit, I was freaking brilliant, how did I ever come up with such fantastic ideas?

Bella began crying and Edward tried to reach for hand.

He glared at me, "Why are you doing this mean things, Emmett?"

I shrugged, "Never insult me."

"I didn't!"

"No, but you underestimated my Nerd Army. Never underestimate a Nerd's army, you now see what we can do."

Alice hissed at Edward, "Stop talking or Rosalie will shave your head, pretty boy."

Edward hissed back.

"Dude. You do know you just hissed, like a cat. WTF?" Jasper said as he laughed and prodded Edwardo with a stick.

"But Alice-"

"STOP LYING YOU LIAR!" Rosalie said as she jabbed Edward with the razor, "I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE THIS!"

"Us plus Army, we're gonna tell you One Time!" My Nerd Army sang getting into the Dungeon spirit.

"Did someone call for me?"

My army and I all whipped around to the voice.

"OMG ITS JUSTIN BIEBER!" I squealed at the top of my lungs, "I FREAKING LOVE YOU!"

* * *

**Aha! How was it? Cody can really crank out a tune ;) I'm sorry guys but, I couldn't have Cody and not Justin, it just doesn't work that way xD**

**Thankyou to everyone who reviewed again, and thankyou to my loyal fans (Even if you don't review). I love you all. And I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING TO PUT IN THE DUNGEON! Haha, do you think maybe my army's being to cruel on Edwardo and Bellsprout, I don't just so you know... Please don't be shy to ask questions or tell me what you think! I love to hear it!**

**Love Always, Awesome Girl 101. (Cody Simpson owner ;) )**


	11. The end is near

HEEYY! I am SOOO SOO sorry! I know! I've been gone for over two months! It wasn't my fault though! Well, it kind of was, but not entirely. So at the start of december I got a virus on my computer from Channel 131 (I suggest you all stop going there :/) and it took us three weeks to get it off. I waited patiently for it to go away (and even half finished a totally new awesome fanfic for you all ;) ) But by the time our computer was fixed it was two days before the holiday's ended. So that meant I spent those two days packing for boarding school and left last week. I haven't had a chance to write anything with my now REALLY FREAKING busy life, so much bloody homework! But, I have found some!

I did promise you that I would finish this story, and that's exactly what I've done.

Here it is, the final chapter of A Day In The Life Of Emmett Cullen.

**Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight and any of it's characters or contents. I do, however, own my nerd army and their evil schemes, they are truely brilliant really ;)**

* * *

"JUSTIN!" I screamed, pushing all of the frothing bitches, plus Cody, to the floor in my mad dash to reach him. "I LOVE YOU!" I shoved Alice, who was trying to claw Justin's clothes off, into a tree. "MARRY ME!"

Justin chuckled nervously, "Uh... Hey, how about I sing you a song while you carry him to the dungeon?"

"OH MY GOD! YES!" Oh My Jacob screamed. Everyone stared at her, "What? I don't only just love Jacob, I do have other loves you know."

Cody crawled to Justin and began kissing his shoes, "I am not worthy, I am not worthy, I am not worthy." He chanted repeatedly.

"No, you're not." Justin replied, "But you do make a great shoe shiner."

Cody blushed, "You're so kind wise one."

"I know right?" Justin said, "Now, let me see, which song..."

"BABY!" Rosalie squealed.

"PSSSHHHTTT! NO!" Jasper yelled, "EENIE MEENIE ALL THE WAY!"

Alice, who had stopped hyperventilating on the ground after I pushed her into a tree, yelled, "DOWN. TO. EARTH."

"U SMILE!" Bella squealed over the army of nerds.

"Bella!" Edward complained, "They're trying to kill us!"

Bella gasped, "BUT HE'S JUSTIN BIEBER!"

"And I'm Edward Cullen?"

Bella rolled her eyes, "Why do I even bother? You're half the man Justin is!"

Edward gasped loudly, "WHAT THE HELL?"

Awesome Girl 101 shoves spear up Edward's bum, again, "DO YOU NEVER LEARN BRONZE BOY?"

Edward sulks, "Whatever. My day's been pretty shit thank you very much."

"No one cares." I coughed.

Edward glared at me, "This is your fault! You're the reason I'm being jabbed, my hair's being threatened, that I've been fighting with my girlfriend and the reason that my girlfriend is now more in love with Justin Bieber than she is with me."

"Honey, that's not true." Bella cooed.

"Really?" Edward and I asked at the same time.

Bella nodded, "Yes, it's because he's a masochistic arsehole."

"I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" Edward screeched.

Bella gasped again, "HOW DARE YOU! I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT!"

"SHUTTTTT UPPPPPPP!" Gummi-Bearz screamed as she picked up a grenade, "YOU'RE BOTH AS ANNOYING AS EACHOTHER!"

Bella bursts out in tears, "My life is over!" She cried, "My boyfriend hates me!"

"These two are freaking confusing." Rosie whispered to me oh so sweetly.

I snorted. "They're more entertaining." Alice said.

Bruno Mars girlfriend then walked by Cody Simpson who was currently carving a Justin statue out of butter.

"OH MY GOD!" Mollyxkookie called as she picked up a grenade, "Let's see if it's true!" She chucked the grenade at Bruno Mars' girlfriend.

"I would catch a grenade for ya..." Bruno Mars sang as he ran past and caught the grenade for his girlfriend.

"Damn it!" MollyxKookie yelled, "No fun!"

"Oh Bruno."

"Oh girlfriendwhohasnoname."

They make out as my Nerd Army 'ewwed' and 'gross you ugly bitched!'.

"Imma tell you one time..." Justin Bieber began to sing.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!" Gabbi squealed.

My nerd army broke out in dance and cheers as Justin Bieber sang. They carried Edward and Bella all the way to the Deadly dungeon.

"Well, I guess here we are." I said sadly, Justin had to leave as soon as we arrived.

"KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL." My army chanted again as they threw Edward and Bella into the dungeon.

"Muahahahaha!" I cackled evilly.

Bella was still sobbing and Edward was glaring at me.

"Any last words?" I asked them.

"As soon as Carlisle gets home and finds I'm not there then comes to release Bella and I," Edward narrowed his eyes, "I. Will. Kill. You."

"Sounds like fun!" I said cheerfully.

Alice laughed like a witch.

"What?" Edward said.

Alice smiled evilly, "Carlisle won't find you. I've already taken care of that."

Edward gasped, "How?"

"Let's just say... you're on an extended trip to India."

"No!" Edward said, "You're just going to leave us here?"

"Well, that or until you admit that I'm hotter than you and that Bella's an idiot for not going for me, and that my nerd army is amazing." I said.

"Never!"

"THAN DIE!" I said as my army slammed the door in their faces.

I turned back to my army.

"You have all served me well through out these past few chapters of this story." I said heartfully, "I have enjoyed working with you all, to the nerd army!" My army cheered and Justin and Cody sang in harmony. "Now, it appears that the time has come for me to rap this all up." There was a collective gasp. "I know, but it has been a wonderful journey my beloved army."

The army was crying by the end of my speech.

"Don't worry, my loyal subjects. We will be back! For fanfiction never ends!"

"HURRAH!"

"Now, can someone tell me where my pet dinosaur, Bob, is?"

* * *

So sad!

There it is. How was the ending? Please tell me!

Now, I have to say this.

I have enjoyed this journey of ADITLOEC with all of you! Without you, well, I almost gave up on this story three times but all of your support and reviews kept me going and here I am, with my **FIRST EVER **finished fanfiction! Wow! This story was my first comedy story and is my oldest active story, and it is also my favourite, it's my baby in other words.

To my nerd army leaders; OhMyJacob, Gummi-Bearz, Nobody Understand's, MollyxKookie, thank you all for being the most amazing and loyal reviewers ever! That's why you guys are my fantastic army!

And to Gabbi who without we wouldn't have even had a nerd army, she was the one who helped me come up with it, so this is my special thank you to her. You rock, Gabbi.

Wow, this is so much sadder than I expected.

Now, about sequeal. I make no promises, but I think there might be a good chance that there will be one, a short one, but it will still be one.

Please, leave me a review.

You guys are the reason that this story is being finished today.

I love you all.

Love always, Awesome Girl 101.

I want to hear your goodbyes.

Love you.


	12. AUTHORS NOTE! Important!

Holaaaaaa everyone!

So guess what? I am off to New Zealand for a month and may not have Internet access. But no one really cares about that anyway.

No!

The reason I am here writing this on A Day In The Life Of Emmett McCarthy issssssss…

I WILL BE WRITING A SEQUELLLLLLLLLLL! AHHHH WEEE!

While I am over the Tasman I will be writing the awesome sequel to ADITLOEM! Wow, I forgot how long that was…

I am so excited to write this since this story (not writing that abbreviation again) is my all time favourite story I've ever written!

GET EXCITED.

I AM.

YYEEE!

So, wait up for it because it is coming your way fanfiction world! KEEP AS A LIMA BEAN!

Also, I have twitter now! Wee! xAwesomeGirl101 follow me for awesome story updates and updates on my kiwi adventure! Yeeeeeeeeee!

So, goodbye for now!

Review if you're excited and tell me your ideas! I leave on Friday so be quick! Also, do you think we should continue my nerd army? I think we should… ;)

And if you want to be in the sequel, WRITE A REVIEW AND TELL ME!

Signing off for now!

Love Always,

Awesome Girl 101.

(OMG I AM SO EXCITED IT FEELS LIKE IT'S FRIDAY!)


	13. A Normal Day In Emmett McCarthy's World

So guys, it's finally here!

THE SEQUEL THE A DAY IN THE LIFE OF EMMETT MCCARTHY! WOOOOOOO!

Get excited! I know I am!

Just to tell you, it's full of complete crap, randomness, nerd armies, stuff that makes no sense, and a very hilarious Emmett (if i must say so myself!)

I'm ready for action and I know it's coming a little later then planned but, hey, I needed time to make Emmett this awesome!

So go check my page for more Emmett Awesomeness.

It's called A Normal Day In Emmett McCarthy's World.

Go read it and review it!

If you ask you can always join my new and improved nerd Army! YAY! NERD ARMY!

Just so you know, those of you who were in the Nerd Army last time, I wasn't sure who still wanted to be in it so I just put in the people who specially asked to be in it again, if you still want to be in it or want to join it, Just review and say so!

It's a life long servitude to Emmett and his awesomeness, plus you get to sing with Cody Simpson and Justin Bieber!

Also, if there's any random celebs you want me to put in there, tell me your ideas in a REVIEW! I love being random and weird.

GET ONTO IT AND GO READ IT! GO GO GO! READ MY PRETTIES!

Love always, Awesome Girl 101.


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